Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
