I could have mohawked her pubes.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
