Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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