I smell stomach acid.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
