oh god the rape fog is back!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize