The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
