I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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