Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There's always time for handjobs
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
