I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
