out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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