I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
