he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
