you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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