There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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