I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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