The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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