I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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