I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
