I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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