I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
True strength comes from lack of pants
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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