Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
