we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
