why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
