who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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