I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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