i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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