p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
