i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
