my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
being pregnant is like rehab
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I will pee on everything he values.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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