so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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