i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Girls should come with a carfax report
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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