doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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