I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Still dying that you shit outside
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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