***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
