i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
