I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
