Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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