We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
