All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
