Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
