If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
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