he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
