now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
