oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
