How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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