let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
