just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
