Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
