I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
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Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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