Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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