just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
