I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
