i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
That accounts for only three of the penises
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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