The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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