I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
