I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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