Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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