I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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