When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
