the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
