I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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